Lost and Found

Earlier this week it was a Kool-aid lemon yellow gummy bear; this morning it was a rogue pacifier, aka the "binky." 


When did the pacifier get its new name? (I have also heard it referred to as a "fussy.") Some cranky toddler (or overtired parent) may be wondering where this winged multicolored love object disappeared. I am marveling at how the aesthetics of this particular item has changed over time; now they look like toys or candy. 

How do children learn to soothe themselves? Sometimes it's with a binky or a thumb. And how many new parents have felt angst when weaning their children or at a new stage of independence and exploration? I often hear questions like: "Do you let them 'cry it out' or do you have a family bed?"  "How much is too much?"  These early experiences can have a powerful impact on identity. I remember vividly hearing one of the participants in my groups say, "I think when I was a child, I was always fed even when I wasn't hungry.  What I really wanted was to be held."

How do you know what you really need in a given moment? Do you ask for a hug when you need one? How do you soothe and comfort yourself?