Too close…too far…just right

Today I was reminded of the old children's story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. 

The publisher's description of the story characterized it as a children's tale about respecting other people's property. The part of the story I'm actually most curious about today is how Goldilocks knew/felt/determined which porridge was "just right" (not too hot or too cold), which chair was "just right" (not too big or too small), and which bed was "just right" (not too hard or too soft).

How did Goldilocks know what was just right? What did she think or feel?  Was the porridge lukewarm? Was it still steaming? Was the chair wide enough for her to curl up or cross her legs? And how many pillows were on the bed? Did it have a nice down comforter?

Every one of us has our own preferences for what feels good, feels safe, feels just right. Sometimes there is no right or wrong about it. And our own just right changes over the course of time, shaped by our life experiences, maturity, changing tastes or needs. 

So I keep asking: how close is too close? How far is too far? And what is just right for today? I want there to be freedom and flexibility along with safety and security.

The important thing is for us to let each other know along the way… and to trust.