Healing

We All Need A Little Compassion

A recent New York Times blogpost described the powerful impact of short term therapy for children who have experienced trauma and abuse.

“When children are alone with and don’t have words to describe their traumatic reactions, symptoms and symptomatic behaviors are their only means of expression…And caregivers are often unable to understand the connection between the traumatic event and their children’s symptoms and behaviors. To heal, children need recognition and understanding from their caregivers…This intervention inspires hope and confidence. It can make an immediate and palpable difference in the daily lives of children who have suffered even the worst forms of abuse.”

It seems abundantly clear that adults would also benefit from this kind of compassionate acknowledgment — the compassionate ear of a supportive resource person, someone who can listen to us without shame or judgment.

Good thing we have mirror neurons to help us with this.

Posted in Healing, Resilience

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Kaddish Symphony, or Why We Can’t Wait

It’s the smell of cigarettes, gin and sweat

acrid smoke from incinerating bodies

salt of blood and sweet perfume turned sour

The sound of a tree branch

creaking from the weight of the body inside the noose

Percussion whistle of a fire hose

spraying down children, families, grandmothers

Terror and dread when you hear those footsteps approaching

Subtle clutch of a handbag against the ribcage

sweep of a glance that renders you a criminal, a freak, a security threat

Wrong place, wrong time, wrong neighborhood, wrong body, wrong country, wrong bathroom, wrong clothes

Missed my stop, my medication, my ride

Even if your loved ones school you on survival strategies

Even if you have a PhD, a sugar daddy, health insurance, a good job, a nose job, a Grammy, a lawyer

Straighten your hair, your tie, your skirt

Shave your beard, shave your legs, take your meds

Change your name, change location, change clothes

I can’t wait for Yizkor

I’ve already started calling out the names

Trayvon Martin

Sakia Gunn

Emmett Till

Matthew Shepard

Gwen Araujo

Lawrence King

Tyler Clementi

Keep going

Tomorrow it might be you, your child, your lover, your teacher, your neighbor, your grandmother

Today we can write,

sing

cry

talk

listen

rage

pray

pay

hug

heal

touch

laugh

vote

feed

read

drum

chant

circle

walk

stand

speak

We don’t have to do this alone

I don’t care if you call it God, Buddha, Allah, Jesus, Yahweh, HaShem, Mystery, Nature, Higher Power, Justice, Truth, Peace

Stand for Love

Start right now

 

March 25, 2012

© Karen L. Erlichman

Posted in Courage, Dealing with Obstacles, Grief and Loss, Healing, Interfaith, Resilience, Social Justice, Truth and Lies

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Telling Our Stories

There was an article in the New York Times recently about the waning interest in psychotherapy and the growing interest in writing workshops. The author (both of whose parents are therapists) claimed that what people are yearning for is a venue for telling their stories. He refers to the “writing cure,” a nod to the old “talking cure” phrase.

After giving it some thought, I’ve decided to wholeheartedly agree and disagree with him. For me, it’s a both/and, not an either/or. As a writer and therapist who often incorporates writing and other forms of creative expression into the process, I am fully in agreement about the power of storytelling, and of having one’s story heard and affirmed. However, if people begin flocking to writing workshops as a substitute for psychotherapy, that’s going to present a different problem for writers and writing teachers.

People need safe venues and safe people with whom they can be fully themselves. Therapy can be one of those places, though it is not the only place, and writing is one venue, though it is not the only venue.

When and with whom can you share your story? How is your story evolving? What allows you to hear others’ stories more fully?


Posted in Creativity, Healing, Uncategorized

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Breathing Yourself Free

Last week on the Today show there was a story about a woman who found freedom from panic attacks after forty years. Yes, 40. No gimmicks; rather, simplicity, the presence of a compassionate witness, practice, faith. 

Healing can be found in the simplest things. Breathe. 

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Posted in Healing, Mind/Body/Spirit, Mindfulness

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Dip your Apples into the Honey of Compassion

Elul Day 24

I am reading an extraordinary book by Brene' Brown called The Gifts of Imperfection, and it's another one of those gems where I could underline nearly every sentence with an emphatic exclamation point in the margin. 

Last night she was citing the wisdom of Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron:

"Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity." (p. 16)

I am reflecting on what it feels like to read this book and truly absorb these words in the context of Elul, this season of knowing our own darkness and tasting the sweetness of renewal. When I say truly absorb, I mean a fierce willingness to do my own inner work in a manner that allows me to digest and integrate such an exacting definition of compassion. 

Next week I will bring some apples and honey to share with my faculty colleagues, who are teaching me new theological perspectives on these universal themes. Darkness, compassion, shared humanity, presence. 

May it be Your will, Adonai, our All that Is, and the God of Ones who came before us, that You renew for us a good and sweet year.

Y'hee ratzon mil'fanekha, Adonai Elohaynu v'Elohey avoteynu v’imoteynu sh'tichadeish aleinu shanah tovah um'tukah.

Sweetness is just around the corner. Are you ready to receive it?

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Posted in Elul, Healing, Spirituality

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